EMDR for the Holiday Season: Making Space for Joy, Grief, and Everything In Between
The holiday season has a way of amplifying whatever we’re already carrying. For some, it’s a time of connection and warmth. For others, it brings up stress, sensory overload, relationship strain, or memories we don’t usually touch during the rest of the year.
Most people experience a mix: joy and heaviness, gratitude and grief, excitement and exhaustion.
And all of that is normal.
The holidays aren’t just a calendar event. They’re a nervous system event. EMDR can help you move through this season with more clarity, grounding, and internal safety.
When the Holidays Feel Heavier Than Expected
The cultural message is that this time of year should feel magical. But the truth is that it often wakes up old emotional patterns:
Family-of-origin dynamics
Past holiday memories that weren’t joyful
Unresolved grief
Pressure to “show up” in ways that don’t feel aligned
Overcommitment and burnout
The loneliness that comes when everyone seems to have somewhere to be
If you’ve had painful or stressful holidays in the past, your nervous system may respond to this season as something it needs to brace against, even if your logical mind knows you’re safe now.
You’re not doing anything wrong.
Your body is simply remembering.
Why This Season Can Trigger the Nervous System
Holiday stress isn’t just emotional; it’s physiological. Many clients notice:
Sensory overload from lights, noise, crowds
Tight schedules and emotional labor
Old wounds surfacing, especially around family
Flashbacks or anxiety connected to past events
Feeling out of control or unable to ground
Feeling like you “should” be happier than you are
Nervous system activation can look like fight, flight, freeze, or people-pleasing. And this is exactly where EMDR can be powerful.
How EMDR Supports You Through the Holiday Season
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) helps your brain process stuck memories, beliefs, and patterns so you can respond from the present; not from the past.
During the holidays, EMDR can help you:
1. Reduce emotional reactivity
Old triggers don’t hit as hard when the brain has processed them.
2. Feel grounded in your own body
Instead of feeling pulled outward into expectations, EMDR helps you return to your center.
3. Build internal resources
Things like:
A grounding “safe place”
Future-self imagery
Adaptive beliefs about boundaries, worth, and rest
4. Shift long-held holiday patterns
Many people move from:
guilt → choice
obligation → boundaries
fear → calm presence
“I have to hold everything together” → “I’m allowed to take care of myself”
5. Make room for joy
When the nervous system softens, joy becomes more accessible, not forced, not performed, simply allowed.
Holiday-Specific EMDR Targets Your Therapist May Explore
You don’t need a major trauma history for EMDR to be beneficial.
Common holiday-related EMDR themes include:
A difficult holiday memory from childhood
Feeling responsible for everyone’s emotions
Fear of disappointing a parent or partner
Grief around holidays after loss
Body-based overwhelm during gatherings
Feeling like you’re “not allowed” to rest or say no
Shame about needing space or needing less stimulation
Even one or two sessions focusing on these areas can make the upcoming weeks feel different: lighter, more navigable.
Let This Season Be Yours
You’re allowed to redefine what the holidays mean to you. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to have mixed feelings. You’re allowed to make this a season that supports your nervous system, not just everyone else’s expectations.
EMDR isn’t about erasing memories. It’s about helping you move through the world (and through this season) with more steadiness, self-trust, and emotional freedom.
Whatever the holidays bring up for you this year, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Your healing gets to continue here, in this season, too.
